Yesterday at the NRM Secretariat, I had a highly emotional interview with a female member of parliament after she picked up her nomination forms. She authorized me to publish this information without mentioning her names. What she shared was heartbreaking and eye-opening,revealing the true cost of politics for many women.
She began by saying, I am leaving parliament without my husband but with huge loans and shame.She described a once happy marriage with her husband and children, which was torn apart after she joined parliament in 2016. From 2017 onwards, her family was always at war; their home became a house of fire. She explained she had no time for her husband and kids, as her life in parliament was filled with meetings, travels, and encounters with men from all walks of government.
She admitted,Truth is, I was in a different life in parliament—meeting all types of men in the house sessions and traveling abroad with men.She recounted spending weeks abroad on parliamentary assignments with male colleagues, and how these trips often led to inappropriate relationships.Even if you are a strong woman, you will end up in an affair with a fellow member of parliament,minister, senior government officials, security officials, etc. This is the reality married female members of parliament will never talk of, but it’s what they go through.
She described the dangerous dynamics of these trips: You go abroad for two weeks with male legislators and government officials, sleep in the same hotel, share meals—breakfast, lunch, and dinner—together with all men on the delegation interested in having you. Some will offer financial support, promising opportunities, connections in government, ministerial appointments, projects, trips—you name it.” She revealed that many women do not survive these manipulative advances, and those who do often suffer consequences—emotional,relational, and health-wise. “Many are HIV Positive, she added gravely.
She lamented how her focus shifted from her family to these relationships: “I lost interest in my husband and focused more on men I met in parliament and other government officials. I didn’t realize these men were just users. My husband had spent a lot to support my political ambitions. We sold family properties, and he lost a well-paying job at an international NGO because he was involved in my politics. Later, he started a family business, but by then, the damage was done.
Her voice trembled as she described how her marriage unraveled: “I saw most female MPs falling in love with fellow MPs, ministers, and senior government officials, and I resisted at first. But I ended up doing the same throughout. My husband became useless and unwanted as I became powerful, connected, and involved with parliamentarians and government officials.She pointed out that, sadly, many of these men are HIV Positive, often without regard for the health risks involved.
Now, after two terms in parliament, she finds herself in pain and anguish. “My family is gone, I’m left with huge loans, and in total isolation.She explained how her monthly salary of 5 million shillings is mostly taken by money lenders, making it difficult to maintain her constituency. “The expenses are too high; men would try to help me, but they are no longer there.
Her regret was palpable: “I regret the day I joined politics. I lost my good, caring man and my marriage. Now, at 49 years old, I am alone.” Her former husband has suffered for ten years, with some men in government investing heavily to incapacitate him financially or even attempt to kill him. She revealed she became influential in her church but felt she had betrayed her family and her values.
She reflected deeply: “If I hadn’t joined politics, I and my husband would be happy, successful, and with a good family. Now, I am alone, and the constituency is too heavy for me. It’s costly, and I feel ashamed of myself.She admitted praying daily for forgiveness as she returns to her constituency without her husband’s support. “In 2021, he sold our land to support my politics. I am sorry I betrayed him.
Her story is a cautionary tale for women in politics: “When you join politics, you become too selfish and ambitious, thinking only of big things and positions. Once you have big ambitions, you end up sleeping with men who can help you get there. Many women have ended up in this situation. When a female MP meets fellow legislators and senior officials, she will never have respect again for her husband.
She concluded with a heart-wrenching reflection: “In the end, I am left with nothing but regret and sorrow. I regret the decisions I made and the pain I caused my family. I mourn the loss of my marriage and the love of my life. I can only hope my story serves as a lesson to others—avoid the mistakes I made. My children will never be politicians. Every politician is a liar and dishonest. All they know is to use and dump. They all act powerful and connected.
Her story reveals the true cost of political ambition—an emotional toll that often leaves women and their families shattered. It underscores the importance of staying true to one’s values and the devastating consequences of neglecting family in pursuit of power.
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